How to Get Out of Freeze Trauma Response: Understanding Functional Freeze in Emotionally Exhausted Women in Their 30s
Feeling “lazy” might be your nervous system stuck in functional freeze.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, not just tired, but emotionally numb, detached, and unable to act, you might be experiencing functional freeze.
This isn’t laziness. It’s neurobiology. It’s your nervous system stuck in a freeze trauma response, a protective state that often hits high-functioning, self-aware women in their 30s who’ve been “the strong one” for far too long.
In this post, we’ll unpack what functional freeze is, why it happens, how it compares to depression and seasonal mood dips, and proven ways to get out of freeze trauma response so you can feel alive, motivated, and connected again.
What Is Functional Freeze?
Functional freeze is a survival state where your nervous system gets stuck in freeze mode. It’s part of the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response and it often kicks in when neither fight nor flight feels possible.
This is your body’s version of “playing dead” to stay safe. On the outside you might still be getting things done, showing up at work, caring for family but on the inside you feel disconnected, foggy, and flat.
Common functional freeze symptoms include:
Emotional numbness or detachment
Lack of motivation or drive
Difficulty concentrating / decision paralysis
Feeling “offline” or stuck in a fog
Physical stiffness or heaviness
Fatigue and exhaustion
Tip: If you’ve been stuck in freeze response for years, you might look “functional” to others but feel disconnected from yourself.
Grounding tools help re-engage a nervous system stuck in shutdown.
What Causes Functional Freeze?
Your freeze response can be triggered by:
Chronic stress without adequate recovery time
Trauma (childhood or adult)
Emotional overload from juggling too many roles without support
ADHD-related overwhelm (functional freeze ADHD)
Nervous system dysregulation — a system that’s become overly sensitive to stress
These factors overload your system, making shutdown feel safer than action.
Functional Freeze vs. Depression
While both can look similar, the internal experience is different:
Functional Freeze Depression
Core feeling Numb, detached Persistent sadness, hopelessness
Energy Frozen, “offline” Low, heavy
Trigger Often stress/trauma-related Can occur without clear trigger
Treatment focus Nervous system regulation first Mood regulation + therapy/medication
They can occur together but knowing which you’re in changes the treatment approach.
Seasonal Depression vs. Winter “Shutdown”
Winter can make functional freeze worse, but it’s not always Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
5% of U.S. adults experience it annually; symptoms last 40% of the year
Pattern: low mood, low energy, loss of interest in fall–winter; remission in spring
Responds to morning 10,000-lux light therapy, CBT-SAD, sometimes SSRIs
Winter “Shutdown” (Functional Freeze):
Hypoarousal/dorsal vagal state worsened by low light
Symptoms: numbness, indecision, detachment, not always sadness
First-line: bottom-up nervous system activation (somatic + IFS therapy) before mood-specific treatment like CBT or talk therapy.
Freeze is a protective reflex hardwired into your brain-body system.
How to Get Out of Freeze Trauma Response
Healing from functional freeze isn’t about “pushing through”, it’s about re-engaging your nervous system and making it feel safe to move again.
The “Five-Minute Thaw” Routine
Orient — Name 3 things you see/hear/smell right now
Breathe — 4–6 deep belly breaths
Micro-move — Wiggle fingers/toes or roll shoulders
Parts Check-In (IFS) — Ask, “What part is here with me right now?”
One Tiny Action — Choose something doable in 60 seconds
Grounding Exercises
Reconnect with your body and the present moment:
5–4–3–2–1 sensory awareness
Walking barefoot or holding a grounding object
Slow body scans to notice sensations
Somatic Therapy
Work with your body to release stored tension and trauma:
Gentle stretching or yoga
Shaking your body to discharge freeze energy
Breathwork for emotional release
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
Get curious about the “parts” of you that are frozen:
Notice where the stuck part lives in your body
Listen for what it’s protecting you from
Invite your compassionate Self to lead the thaw
Common Questions About Functional Freeze
Is functional freeze real?
Yes. It’s a trauma-related nervous system response linked to dorsal vagal shutdown in polyvagal theory.
Can functional freeze last for years?
Yes, especially if trauma or chronic stress isn’t addressed.
How is functional freeze different from an emotional freeze?
Emotional freeze refers to emotional shutdown; functional freeze involves mind and body.
Why is winter worse?
Low light impacts circadian rhythms and mood. SAD responds to light therapy; winter freeze often needs somatic + IFS first.
Is freeze linked to ADHD?
Yes, overwhelm and executive dysfunction can trigger freeze.
Cultural Load, Relationship Lens, and IFS Self-Talk
Many eldest daughters and parentified children carry legacy burdens, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, and perfectionism, that push them toward freeze. Freeze can be misunderstood as withdrawal. Try:
“I’m not ignoring you, my system is overwhelmed. I’ll check back in after I ground.”
Want to know how functional freeze changes with the seasons?
Read: Winterize Your Nervous System, why winter shutdown isn’t always depression.
If you’ve made it this far…
Trauma-informed therapy can help thaw emotional and physical freeze states.
Functional freeze is common and reversible. Whether it’s worsened by trauma, ADHD, or seasonal shifts, you can thaw your nervous system with small, repeated, bottom-up actions supported by IFS and somatic therapy.
If your brain keeps calling you lazy, but your body feels like it’s moving through wet cement, that’s not a character flaw. It’s a nervous system doing its best to protect you.
I help high-functioning women in their 30s understand and work with their functional freeze symptoms using IFS, somatic tools, and nervous system mapping.
You don’t have to “push harder.” You just need a different way through. Schedule with me now to learn How to Get Out of Freeze Trauma Response.
Trauma therapist in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Erie, Harrisburg and across Pennsylvania. Accepting new clients for trauma intensives.
If you’re struggling to move forward from a toxic relationship, let’s work together. I offer online trauma therapy and intensives across Pittsburgh, Harrisburg, Erie, Philadelphia, and all of Pennsylvania.
Join me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Google orTikTok for more educational tips & updates!
Disclaimer: Listen, what you see here on my blog or social media isn’t therapy, it’s meant to educate, inspire, and maybe even help you feel a little less alone. But if you’re in it right now and need real support, please reach out to a licensed therapist in your state who can walk alongside you in your healing journey. Therapy is personal, and you deserve a space that’s all about you. If you’re in PA and looking for a trauma therapist who gets it, I’m currently accepting new clients for trauma intensives. Let’s fast-track your healing journey, because you deserve to feel better, sooner.
About the Author: Mariah J. Zur, LPC is a trauma-informed therapist based in Pennsylvania, specializing in childhood trauma recovery, emotional healing, and helping individuals break free from toxic relationship patterns. With over 10 years of experience, Mariah uses evidence-based approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and trauma intensives to guide her clients through their healing journey. Passionate about empowering women to reclaim their emotional freedom, Mariah provides virtual and in-person therapy in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and across Pennsylvania. When she's not in the therapy room, she’s advocating for mental health awareness and supporting others in their personal transformation.
Research Brief Author: Mariah J. Zur, M.S., LPC, CCTP.
