Am I Confusing My Relationship or Is My Partner Narcissistic? A Trauma-Informed Guide | NC, SC & PA

Written By Mariah Zur

If you’ve been asking yourself whether you’re stuck in a confusing relationship or if your partner might be narcissistic, you’re not alone.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can leave you emotionally drained, constantly second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you’re the problem. The truth? Narcissistic abuse is designed to keep you stuck in self-doubt. Recognizing the signs can help you break free.

As a trauma-informed therapist in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and South Carolina, I’ve helped countless women navigate the difference between unresolved trauma triggers and toxic relationship dynamics. Let’s break it down with five questions to help you recognize whether you’re dealing with everyday struggles or the red flags of narcissism in relationships.

1. Do You Feel Constantly Walked On or Invalidated?

Your nervous system is wired to scan for danger. If you often feel dismissed, unheard, or gaslit, your body may be telling you something important.

In a healthy relationship, emotions are validated. In a narcissistic one, you’ll hear phrases like:

  • “You’re overreacting.”

  • “You’re too sensitive.”

  • “That never happened.”

This is gaslighting, a core narcissistic behavior in relationships that makes you question your reality. If you’re always walking on eggshells, that’s a red flag.

2. Does Your Partner Seem to Lack Empathy?

One of the biggest signs of narcissism in relationships is a lack of empathy. A partner with narcissistic traits often:

  • Dismisses your feelings.

  • Centers conversations around themselves.

  • Avoids taking responsibility for harm.

This emotional neglect leaves you feeling invisible. It also feeds anxious attachment cycles, making it harder to trust your own emotions.

3. Are You Walking on Eggshells, Avoiding Conflict?

Do you silence yourself to keep the peace? Narcissists often control through fear and volatility.

Signs include:

  • Avoiding topics to prevent an outburst.

  • Feeling anxious about their reactions.

  • Constantly “fixing” things so they don’t escalate.

If you feel responsible for preventing conflict, that’s a toxic pattern—not love.

4. Do You Feel Like You’re Always Giving, With Little to No Reciprocity?

Healthy love is reciprocal. Narcissistic relationships are draining because they’re one-sided. Narcissists often:

  • Demand constant praise and validation.

  • Drain your energy without offering support.

  • Prioritize their needs while disregarding yours.

If you feel exhausted and unappreciated, it may be time to reflect: are you over-functioning to keep love that should flow freely?

5. Are You Second-Guessing Your Own Reality?


Gaslighting is one of the most toxic forms of narcissistic abuse. It sounds like:

  • Twisting situations to make you feel guilty.

  • Denying things they clearly said or did.

  • Calling you “crazy” or “imagining things.”

If your partner manipulates you into questioning what’s real, you may be dealing with narcissistic abuse, not just conflict.

So, What's the Verdict?

If you found yourself nodding to these patterns, you might be in a narcissistic relationship or at the very least, a toxic dynamic. Either way, it deserves your attention.

Next steps:

  • Research narcissistic abuse therapy near me.

  • Explore trauma-informed therapy or IFS therapy online in PA, NC, or SC.

  • Consider a trauma therapy intensive if you’re ready for faster healing.

You don’t have to keep second-guessing yourself. Healing is possible.

How do I Find a Trauma Therapist Near Me?

Healing from narcissistic abuse and anxious attachment takes time, but support makes all the difference.

If you’re searching for:

  • Narcissistic abuse therapy in Pennsylvania

  • Trauma therapy in Philadelphia or Pittsburgh

  • Online IFS therapy in NC or SC

  • EMDR therapy near me for trauma recovery

…I offer virtual and in-person trauma therapy intensives to help you fast-track your healing. Together, we’ll rebuild your sense of self after toxic relationships.

trauma counselor pittsburgh

If your relationship makes you feel invisible, drained, or constantly questioning your reality, it’s not you, it’s the dynamic. You deserve a safe, supportive relationship where you can rest, trust, and be seen. If you’re in PA, NC, or SC, I’d love to support your journey through trauma therapy intensives. Schedule a consultation today. Because you deserve to feel better, sooner.

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Disclaimer: Listen, what you see here on my blog or social media isn’t therapy, it’s meant to educate, inspire, and maybe even help you feel a little less alone. But if you’re in it right now and need real support, please reach out to a licensed therapist in your state who can walk alongside you in your healing journey. Therapy is personal, and you deserve a space that’s all about you. If you’re in PA and looking for a trauma therapist who gets it, I’m currently accepting new clients for trauma intensives. Let’s fast-track your healing journey, because you deserve to feel better, sooner.

Research Brief Author: Mariah J. Zur, M.S., LPC, CCTP

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